The Escalator of Orthanc
by OneSizeFitsAll
Summary: What if Gandalf was a great enough wizard to do a very simple thing-like, well, opening a door? And what if, instead of a normal staircase in Orthanc, there was a long, spiraling circular escalator with an up/down switch at the top and bottom? And an elevator that goes way too fast? How would the Saruman vs. Gandalf fight have gone then? Well, as it turns out, pretty much the same.


As the door clanged shut behind him, Gandalf finally understood the truth. Saruman stood facing him with anger burning white in his eyes. Gandalf turned to one of the other doors (there were at least five in Saruman's chamber) but it slammed in his face. One by one, the others did the same.

He was trapped! Or was he? Gandalf thumped his brow in self-deprecation as he finally remembered the all important fact that he was a wizard. What were wizards for if they couldn't open useless doors?

"Melon!" he cried to the main door and it opened mysteriously. Who can tell why or how?

"Hey!" shouted Saruman. "How did you do that?"

Gandalf had already left. He slipped through the doorway before Saruman had time to issue a counterspell. But he realized he hadn't escaped yet. He hit the button for the elevator, but Saruman had not been idle. It would not respond.

Already the doors of the chamber were opening once more and Saruman was coming to catch him. There was only one thing to do. Take the circular escalator.

He flipped the switch to 'down' and hurried down the moving steps. He was slightly more spry than Saruman, who followed several yards behind.

Gandalf ran round and round and the center pole of the escalator. He went down what would have been a hundred steps on a normal staircase in fifty, down two hundred in one hundred, down five hundred in two hundred and fifty. And all the while Saruman followed.

At last Gandalf reached the bottom. But he was almost out of breath and extremely dizzy. He had to hold up Saruman or he would get caught. A brilliant idea flashed into his mind, and he flipped the escalator switch to up.

Saruman felt the escalator flowing back upwards beneath his feet and ran faster to reach the bottom. But it was no use, he only lost ground. At last, he found himself back at the top.

Meanwhile, Gandalf turned to escape only to find several well grown Uruk-hai in the doorway. They rushed at him, brandishing their swords and he turned and fled-back up the escalator. The Uruk-hai are afraid of escalators and didn't follow. He ran up what would have been one hundred steps on an ordinary staircase in fifty, up two hundred in one hundred-and then the escalator started going down. And somewhere up above Saruman was descending it.

Gandalf ran back to the bottom and once more flipped the switch to up. Then he set off back up the stairs. Once more Saruman was born back to the top level.

At last, Saruman decided to take the elevator. He pushed the button, and doors opened on an elevator full of seasick Uruk-hai. They readily traded places, and Saruman chuckled as he sped down to the ground floor. The elevator stopped with a lurch and a groan. He stepped out and switched the escalator to down. Gandalf would have to come to him.

A few minutes later, he saw Gandalf hurrying down the escalator towards him. He almost made it to the switch to flip it to up, but just in time Saruman remembered his magic staff. Of course! Why hadn't he thought of that sooner?

He grabbed Gandalf with some unknown power and spun him around on the floor several times.

"I gave you the chance to aide me willingly," he said. "But you...have elected...the way of..." He stopped. He had been planning to do his awesome throw-someone-through-a-hole-in-the-ceiling-thing, but he after all that running up and down, he didn't feel strong enough. Instead he threw him into the elevator, pushed the speed throttle to super-duper fast, and pushed the button for the very top of the tower. "Pain!" he shouted triumphantly as the elevator sped away.

Inside the elevator, Gandalf pitched from side to side. He was thrown all over the little cell before it stopped with an ear splitting screech and he hit the ceiling (quite literally). As the doors opened he fell forward and out, rolling across the floor of the tower and falling off the edge-onto the back of an eagle.


End file.
